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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23803972">Faith, Trust, but No Pixie Dust</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnimagusFireblade/pseuds/AnimagusFireblade'>AnimagusFireblade</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Attack, F/F, Fear, Heartbreak, Pain, Starting Over, Struggle, rebuild</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 00:28:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,208</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23803972</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnimagusFireblade/pseuds/AnimagusFireblade</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What if your worst nightmares came to life? Or at least made it to where you can't depict reality from the nightmare?</p><p>Sara Lance is stuck in her own personal hell loop. The Legends free her from the torment of a demon induced nightmare, but her reality looks too much like her false memories. Can she break free? And find the trust that has been lost?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Faith, Trust, but No Pixie Dust</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi all, I haven't posted a lot in a while, but I'm working on it. This piece is kind of important to me lately. I'll be honest it starts off pretty dark but hopefully will grow into something that people can relate to. Anyways, hope you enjoy reading it!</p><p>Special thanks to starling83 and Lady Xana for betaing!</p><p>To my girlfriend, thank you for sticking by me when things get tough.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Ava please. Please don’t do this. We need to talk about this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I watch her face from across her office, hoping for a glimmer of something. A twitch, a forehead crease. Anything that will indicate a sign of hesitance. She looks up from her desk and stares at me for a second before speaking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, Sara. I’m done. We are done. I don’t love you anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I clutch my chest as my breath catches in my throat. I rush forward, both palms slamming onto the desk. My eyes refuse to blink, so I won’t miss a single movement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t mean that. You do love me. I know it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, Ms. Lance. I do not. I have never loved you. How could I ever love someone so unlovable and evil? Someone with blood coating their hands?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I glance down at my hands and snatch them up toward my face. Blood slides down my arms, the bold crimson shade dripping to the floor. A pool of blood surrounds my feet. The smell of iron reaches my nose, tickling my nose hairs. I estimate it is the same amount a person will lose if they start bleeding out. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Bleeding out.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I dart my eyes around the room, searching for the source. Ava is smirking across from me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I always knew you would get yourself killed.” She turns away and glances over her shoulder. “Good luck surviving that one.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I feel it then. The striking pain lancing up my spine. My muscles contract in an attempt to hold me in place. I turn my gaze down to my stomach. A blade juts out of my gut, its tip gleaming at me through my blood. My knees give out and hit the floor hard. Just as I am about to pass out, a voice whispers in my ear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nighty night, Lance.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I jolt awake. My heart beats echo in my head. I clutch my chest to calm my breathing. I notice the placement mirrors how Ava’s hand would lay in an attempt to calm me and swiftly move it away to examine it for blood. The low light in my room is just enough for me to see that my hand is dry and free of any alarming substance. My heart quiets, and my breathing slows. My room. I observe my surroundings and confirm I am safe in my room on the Waverider. I turn to check on her. All I see is empty sheets. The icy chill sends tingles up my fingers as I examine them. She isn’t here. She hasn’t been here all night. It’s been two weeks since we broke up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This is the fourth night I’ve had nightmares. They keep growing, lingering and teasing me. My dream state has begun to mix with my reality. Yesterday I thought I saw a crow that pecked out my eyes on Nate’s head. He did not like the welp I left from checking with my staff.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s getting harder to ignore the concerned looks from the team. I brush them off when they ask me to talk. I don’t need them worrying about me. Ava is gone and that’s that. Life moves on. And I can handle a few measly nightmares. I’m a fucking ex-assassin; I’ve died. This shouldn’t rattle me so easily. Maybe I should try some tea…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------------------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“FUCK!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I grasp my arm and hold it up to attempt to staunch the bleeding. My shout goes unnoticed by those around me, swept up in the gunfire around us. It is lost to all but one. The one person I never thought I’d see again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“SARA!” Her long blonde hair covers her face as she races across the distance to my side. She hastily flops it out of her face to get a clear view of my injuries. Her eyes are wide as they scan my wound, her mouth trying to say words while her mind makes sense of the damage before her. My arm is bleeding fast from the bullet, but thankfully it was a through and through.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just get me to the ship. Gideon can help.” I breathe through clenched teeth, keeping the dark spots in my vision at bay. I need to stay awake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“O-okay, we can do this. Come on, I got you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before I have time to protest, Ava has me up with my good arm slung over her shoulders. She is practically carrying me because I am too weak from the blood loss. I stumble a few times, which makes her stop to readjust my body weight on her, making sure she won’t drop me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I see the ship. I can stay awake enough to make it there. Ava jerks beside me, and we both fall to the ground. I push myself up to see what she tripped on, but there’s nothing on our path. Dread fills my belly as I turn to look at her face. She is struggling to breathe as red seeps into her shirt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck! Ava!” I try to breathe harder, make myself stay awake to help her. I push down on the bleeder, hoping it will clot or slow enough to get her inside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“S-s-sar-a.” Her voice comes out raspy and strained.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hang on Aves, I got you.” I glance around to see who is close enough to hear. “RAY! MICK! AMAYA!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All of them are so absorbed in the fighting around them that no one hears my screams. I look down at Ava. If I don’t get her to Gideon soon…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sar...ra. Hey, it’s-it’s okay.” She smiles at me even though her pain causes a strained look to pass over her face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aves, I’m gonna get you inside. Just a few more steps and Gideon will make it all better.” I grasp her arms to pull, but she grabs my wrist. I stop my movement when she taps it for my attention.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sara, it’s too m-much. I just need you to know-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No. Don’t say anything. You are going to make it. We are right-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sara!” The small strength in her tone has the words dying on my lips. Her eyes soften as they meet mine. “I just need to tell you that- that I love you. And I never stopped. Not even for a moment.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The tears in my eyes blur her face. I wipe them away quickly, not wanting to lose one moment of seeing her face. My Ava, still alive.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you too, Aves. I’m-I’m so sorry.” I fall apart there holding her close as my own blood loss starts to drag me into unconsciousness bit by bit. I lay my head on her shoulder and feel her lips brush my forehead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will always love you... Peter Pan.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I feel her chest slow as her breathing becomes labored. I cling tighter to her side, willing her to stay alive, to stay with me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I hear the tiny gasp of air. The last puff, the last breath my Ava will ever release. I scream. My body gives up fighting the darkness that is calling me to sleep. There is no point in resisting any longer if Ava is dead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The last thing I hear in my mind is her words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Sara, I love you.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it! Feel free to leave comments! Stay safe everyone!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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